From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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