i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
