How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
