I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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