it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
is that a dick in a sweater?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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