Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
