Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
