I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
