If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
