when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
