the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
