Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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