My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
