she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
