I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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