You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
