my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
