Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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