You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
