why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
