and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
