Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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