talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
