Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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