i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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