So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
