girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
