Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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