i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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