i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
