Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
