your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
