Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
