im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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