My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
