how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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