Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
