why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
