I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
