i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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