We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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