you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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