She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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