No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
