feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
