so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
