Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
