Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
