woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
