dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
