so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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