hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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